Diandra Interviews William Wild: Pushing Up And Through

From the Coronavirus  to a Bad LSD Trip, I got to discuss with William Wild what inspired his “rebirth” of sorts in his fantastic new album, Push Ups. For William, learning to live beyond perceptions like “time” and other’s opinions feels vital for both his personal and artistic well-being. Frankly, it should be considered vital for all.

Diandra: As a songwriter, what have you learned is the power of words or language?

William Wild: I try not to think about writing music in any technical way. I’m trying to maintain a state of not knowing what I’m doing. Words have been more fun to think about recently, though. I realized a couple months ago that, for where I am in life right now, the most important thing is to say something. When there’s something to say, everything else falls into place.

William Wild – All My Life (Official Video)

Diandra: Your songs balance both regrets and dreams. Do you feel these energies are mutually exclusive or do regrets inspire dreams and vice versa? 

William Wild: I’ve never thought about regrets and dreams having anything to do with each other. My regrets begin to have power when they get skewed by some narrative I attach to it. Actually, regrets and dreams are very similar in that way. They are both products of your mind or heart, unconsciously, attaching a narrative to some random experience or thought. It’s important for me to try my best to remove these narratives and stay grounded; that’s what I try to do all the time anyway, but I don’t believe it anymore. It’s all just a story.

Diandra: Seeing music as therapy, how do you feel creativity counters destructivity or insecurity, especially during this crisis?

William Wild: Making stuff will, definitely, be a big part of taking care of myself during this time of isolation. I don’t think everybody is like that though. Some people feel at peace with more orders and tasks; I can relate to that, as well. I guess I just hope that when people get bored, during this time, they don’t run from it and get stressed out. Anytime, I get bored I usually learn something or make something.

Diandra: You have said the record was you encountering who you thought you were versus who you became. What are the differences between the two, and what ignited this rebirth of sorts?

William Wild: I basically lost my confidence a few years ago. A lot of my life was built on confidence that I didn’t really earn. That’s the main difference. I had a catastrophic LSD trip in early 2018, and now I think about my life before and after that experience. During most of the duration of the drug’s effects, I had a great experience; I learned a lot and I think a wrote something like 10 pages in my notebook. Around 8 in the morning, after staying up all night, I decided to do some push ups to wear myself out before going to bed and this is where everything went wrong. I caused myself to have an adrenaline rush and subsequently had a panic attack for the first time in my life. This was the beginning of a six month period of a constant state of panic. I felt shattered to the core and had to rebuild my life and identity. There is for sure no going back, but I wouldn’t want to anymore.

Diandra: Having this album inspired by an existential crisis, what do you feel is the difference between existence and living?

William Wild: This album wasn’t inspired by an existential crisis. It was made in spite of an existential crisis. I had already started before the trip, but the record became a symbol, and that’s actually what made it so hard to finish. So I guess the record is in a lot ways me figuring out a balance between existing and living. If existing is floating down a stream and allowing the current to help you find your way around obstacles, maybe, I’m trying to like ride on a leaf so I can take in the sights and help paddle from time to time.

William Wild – Rental House (Official Video)

Singing to moments of disillusionment and beauty, what has music helped you to feel comfortable with about yourself?

William Wild: Releasing music and performing live music, as a lifestyle, brings up some interesting and intense, interpersonal questions for me. Finding a balance between who I think I am and who everybody else thinks I am has been crucial, but the main thing is I feel like I have to maintain a belief that I have something to offer the world. That’s a unique pressure to be self-imposing and is constantly forcing me to look in the mirror.

Me: THAT IS SUCH A POWERFUL ANSWER!

Diandra: What is your favorite, earliest memory of the power of music?

William Wild: My dad wasn’t, necessarily, super into music, but one day, when I was like ten, I went into our basement and he was sitting on the couch covering his face with his hands and had some 80s song blaring through the studio. I wish I could remember the song. For some reason, I vividly remember the way this moment made me feel and I will never forget it.

Diandra: Having gone through triumphs and tragedies, how do you define healing?

William Wild: Healing has mostly meant getting back to the present moment for me. I can spend long periods of time living in the past or future and most of the time, when I am not doing well, it’s because of that.

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