Diandra Interviews Ellery Bonham: Dealing With A Quarterlife Blur

For Ellery Bonham, Love is Supermagic, and I cannot say that every myth, across time and space, disagrees with her. Love is the most beautiful thing in the world. It is the lightest thing we carry. It is invisible yet seen, and so deeply felt, despite being untouchable. In her new album,Quarterlife Blur, Ellery observes the journey of growing up enough to love better. In our interview, she discusses relationships, in terms of needs, wants, boundaries, and self-discoveries, of which her music has been a guide to helping her see this.

Diandra: What does Quarterlife Blur, as a title mean to you, and what has been the blur of your quarter life?

Ellery: Way before I knew what this album was going to be called, “quarterlife blur,” was a lyric I wrote for my song, 3 Years. I originally wrote it about somebody else, but by the end of this project, it felt like a really decent way to sum up the last several years of my own life— everything and nothing all in one. For me, it was the chaotic residue of heartbreak, my career, moving seven times, health issues, a tornado, global pandemic and the emotional ride of being musically underground for 3 years. It was a lot. No matter how well I tried to navigate it and stay present, I’m sure a lot of it went by me in ways I probably disassociated from and don’t remember well. I think your 20s can be brutal— you’re trying to build a foundation while all the pieces are still so shifty, and meanwhile, life is off in the corner chucking dodge balls at you.

Ellery: I love this question. In 2014, I was a baby artist trying to find myself on a completely blank page. All I had were my instincts. Even though I had been singing my entire life, that was a totally new challenge for me. In the last eight years, I’ve been figuring out who I want to be in life and that’s impacted my writing and influences a lot. I still rely on my instincts, but I now have more experience and a clearer focus to filter them through. I’m hopeful that 2022 will tie together all the pieces of myself and my writing that I’ve been working on. 
 
Diandra: What makes a song feel true to you?

Ellery: The feeling is hard to describe but I know something’s true when it captures my attention. Usually it’s in the details. If the writing feels forced or like the lyrics have been rearranged from songs I’ve heard before, I’m emotionally removed. If I hear a song that tells a story in a way that feels both new to me and straight from my own brain, I’m in. I think the best songwriters are the ones who can describe a feeling before we had the words for it.

Diandra: Writing stories into songs, what is a movie, tv show, or book that you feel would be a good concept album as a story? What would be its themes?

Ellery: One of my favorite new shows is Nine Perfect Strangers and I think that would be a wild concept album. They pack a lot of emotionality in eight episodes, which is always good fodder for song ideas, but more importantly, there are so many great characters with story arcs that everyone can relate to in some way. The major themes would be self-exploration, enlightenment, humanity, resilience, trust and letting go.

Ellery: I want to say music would be a lover because the connection is so deep… but I also go through phases where I listen to music like crazy and then take a hiatus so I feel like that’s romantically pretty volatile. Maybe we’re just best friends. I’d love to take a road trip, see a show, get amazing food and find some place with a view. I think music would like that I’m honest, loyal, and always come back after some time away. 
 
Diandra: What is one song that most embodies love to you on the new record, and what’s one that most embodies heartbreak? What about these songs do you feel embodies them?
 
Ellery: My greatest embodiment of love on this album is probably Love You Better. Not because it’s happy and romantic— but because there are two kinds of love in this song: love for someone else and self-love. The song is about fighting for someone who wasn’t fighting for me or himself and I realized I deserved the same dedication I was giving. The greatest embodiment of heartbreak on this album might be I Can’t Love You Anymore. It was the final chapter in letting go of a relationship that I didn’t want to end. 

Diandra: What have your relationships taught you about how you love people versus how you want to be loved by people?

Ellery: I’ve learned not to take everything so personally. I’ve come to accept that what makes me feel loved isn’t necessarily what makes someone else feel loved. In some cases, I might actually be triggering some huge aversion they have to it. Instead of being offended that my ways of expressing love weren’t being fully-appreciated or mirrored, I’ve tried to do a better job of communicating what I need, and give others my best and most genuine effort of what they need. If someone isn’t making equal effort to come to you, then that’s a relationship to have strict boundaries with. 
 
Diandra; In honor of Supermagic, what would you say are three qualities about you that are magic and what kind of spell would they have or what superpower embodies them?*
 
Ellery: I’d say my 3 magic qualities are: loyalty, over-thinking, and turning anything into an impromptu song. I imagine the spell would have some hypnotizing effect because that combination can get dizzy. 

Diandra: What is your favorite childhood memory with music?

Ellery: My parents took me to a few Billy Gilman shows which were my first concerts— I was in love with him when I was little. He was local and played a lot of shows in my area and my parents loved to surprise me with seeing him. I think the very first time was at a state fair my mom took me to. I was six, probably. We passed a big stage and I said, “wouldn’t it be crazy if Billy Gilman were playing here tonight?” To which she replied that he actually was, and that he was the reason we came. I stood in the crowd of sitting listeners, sang along to every word, and cried.

Diandra: This album has been in the works since 2018. If you could describe each year leading to its release in one sentence how would you?

Ellery: 2018: Signing year: a light in a dark season and the perfect time to find a team to help me get moving when I had so much I wanted to say. 
2019: Three steps forward, two steps back: creatively, I was really fired up, but I hit a lot of roadblocks in 2019 and felt pretty low entering 2020.
2020: A tornado, halted process, and the pandemic: this was a shit year with a lot of “how could this get any worse” but I have some really sweet memories from being with people I loved who were also picking up the broken pieces of that year.
2021: Taking initiative to find happiness and celebrating the end of a long, hard road.

Diandra: What one lyric, or song of yours if easier, do you feel most symbolizes the Nashville Music scene and why?

Ellery: I might say Supermagic because it feels the most classic/timeless as far as the songwriting and music go. Nashville at its heart is a songwriting city that attracts people of an easy pace and deep soul, and I think Supermagic embodies that best.

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