Diandra Interviews Valley Latini: Music, Sex, and The Spiritual Connection
For Valley Latini, music is a spiritual experience, which is why it can be sexual. Yes, life is balance and there are lines to be crossed, but when so many of those lines have been drawn from oppression, especially gender oppression, then they should not exist. Instead, new lines should be drawn: ones that don’t see sex or gender as an issue, a taboo, or a public fear. Through music, Valley has found a place for sensual exploration, and, in our interview, we discuss a very real question: if love is the food of music, why can’t sex be appreciated and respect as its dessert?
Diandra: How did you decide upon your sound?
Valley: I think it came organically, honestly. I just started playing around with synthesizers on my Logic Pro and I just came upon that sound. I think it reflects that I can be dark and mysterious. There is a lot of darkness and sexiness, and it definitely shows I can be moody. (she laughs)
Diandra: What is your favorite mood?
Valley: I like melancholy. I think melancholy is my favorite emotion.
Diandra: You know, people don’t admit enough how satisfied they are with sadness.
Valley: You freaking love it! You love that longing! I live in New York. When it is gray and dreary, I love that feeling. I love that feeling of sadness, and I don’t think people embrace their sadness enough. It is apart of the human experience.
Blue Moon (Official Music Video)
Diandra; Well, your songs are about loneliness in relationship. What has loneliness taught you about keeping company with yourself?
Valley: I think the loneliness you feel with someone else is reflective of the loneliness you feel with yourself. It is inside of you. No one can fill that hole, that void inside of you, but yourself. You can’t expect anyone else to fill it.
Diandra: You don’t think there is a responsibility of a partner to hold you through the loneliness?
Valley: Right, well, I think that is a high expectation. You can’t expect someone to face the loneliness and anxiety you have carried with you you whole life.
Diandra: So do you measure your partner’s reactions to your anxiety as deal-breakers? Like if he is kind to me, when I am not kind to myself, that is a good man!
Valley: I’m definitely looking for someone with integrity. Someone who is brave, honest, and really loves me. Someone who is truthful. Honestly, I am pretty forgiving. So, I guess, a deal-breaker will be abuse or gaslighting. I don’t like anyone that is really aggressive or flipping out over everything.
Serpiente (Official Music Video)
Diandra: I don’t know why that whole statement made me think of 90 Day Fiancé. All the men on that show flashed before my eyes.
Valley: OH MY GOD! I love that show. I watch that show and I’m like, “If someone like that can find love, I can too!” If these people are finding love, I am finding it one day. Someone is going to love me.
Diandra: Does television or film inspire your work?
Valley: Absolutely! David Lynch is one of my favorite directors. I love his work, and I would love to work with him. That would be dope! Even if it is through the Transcendental Meditation Foundation, which is something I practice. I was obsessed with that movie he did, Blue Velvet, and I was thinking of it when I wrote “Blue Moon” and did the video. I feel like I am the girl in the abusive relationship having that “masochist” moment when she is like, “beat me up.”
Diandra: You said you seek honesty in a partner. Do you feel like that honesty you seek stems from being so honest and being an activist, of sorts for women’s empowerment through sex?
Valley: It is important for me to find a partner that is honest and brave because I am a bold person. I am a bold person in what I say. I am a bold person in my music. I am a bold person in my look. I am a bold person in what I stand for in social justice. I need a person who will understand that. I need a person who will understand the mountain of vulnerability it takes to be like that and speak out against injustice.
Diandra: Standing against “whorephobia,” how would you define this prejudice?
Valley: I would say it is fear of sex work and a hatred of women who are free and take ownership of their bodies. I like the word “whore,” and in the sex worker community we are empowered by that word. We have taken back that word in the same way the queer community has taken back the word “queer.” “Whorephobia” can happen in many ways; she doesn’t have to be a sex worker. She can just be wearing a pretty dress.
Ask Me Why (Official Music Video)
Diandra: What is the biggest taboo against women and sexual pleasure?
Valley: The most negative taboo is that women are not supposed to like sex and like their bodies. They are not supposed to show their bodies. Society does not women to be empowered by themselves that is why, when we show our bodies, there is this, “Oh My God! She must have daddy issues! She must want attention!” Society does not women to empower themselves by themselves and take ownership of ourselves. They want women to be empowered by men, but never by themselves. They say, “Don’t use your body to make money! That is the easy way out!” You know, that is part of men keeping their power.
Diandra: So interesting because I never thought of that; part of oppression is making the oppressed live for your view or according to your view of them. Thus, I am only empowered when you tell me to be empowered or to “look powerful.”
Valley: EXACTLY!
Diandra: So what do you feel about your connection with your womanhood is divine?
Valley: Back in the pagan days, women were high priestesses and would have orgies for healing. There is magic in sexuality, even tantric sex. There is holiness in sexual acts, and that is what I mean in “transgressive divinity.” Most people view sex as wrong and dirty, but I think it gets you closer to divinity.
Diandra: Do you think that is why the world is going crazy? We have lost our “sex magic?”
Valley: Yeah! Sex Magic! Exactly!
Diandra: We might have a new title track! Sex Magic! (we laugh) But, in all seriousness, do you feel people have disconnected to their divinity and the dignity of sex?
Valley: Yeah! Absolutely! Especially because of technology! There is just so much shaming!
Diandra: Do you think technology and social media fuels the shaming or it is just a symptom of an old disease?
Valley: Humans have always had this disease of hatred. Technology is just a tool we use. We have corrupted the internet in how we use it against people.
Diandra: What is your favorite alternate reality for sensuality?
Valley: Before it was the strip club! It is such an alternate reality. When I was there, I wasn’t myself. I was acting, but, because of Covid, I think it has become virtual spaces. My friends have started their own chats and OnlyFans! But I want to create that space through my music; I want that to be my alternate space and escape from the world. Valley Latini is my escape.
Diandra: What is Valley Latini’s origin story?
Valley: In highschool, they used to call me, “Valley! Valley! Valley!,” and my favorite author is from Argentina, Cielo Latini, and I was obsessed with her. I wanted to be her. So I gave myself her my last name.
Diandra: What is your favorite childhood memory with music?
Valley: My mom singing to me hymns, and me feeling this nostalgic sadness because they were sad songs.
Diandra: What is your favorite, sad song?
Valley: Blue Moon.
Diandra: Your own song! Nice! (we laugh)
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