Diandra Reviews It All- Gossip Girl Needs More Gossip

Ah yes! Do rich people care? This is the question we poor folks ask ourselves as Melania Trump blatantly wears a jacket saying what we all know…. No they don’t! Part of why we watch Housewives and Kardashians live incredibly petty, wealthy lives is because apart of us enjoys having a moral high-ground over them while we literally wish we could be their neighbor. Yet, before reality tv took over in pumping the nation with rich people’s problems, there was Gossip Girl: a CW series based on the famous books that covered the salacious lies, scandals, and lives of a bunch of Upper East Side teens who were so self-absorbed, you could not help but be absorbed by them, as well. Coming out on HBO MAX July 8, The Gossip Girl Reboot does not have the same absorption qualities, in part, because it does not have the same self-absorption.

Something about seeing rich people try to be socio-economic revolutionaries in an ivory tower just does not seem right or thought-provoking. It is why people rolled their eyes when Bloomberg ran for president or every time some rich guy decides to discuss social justice issues and how he thinks “the poor” could better themselves. You just want to yell back, “GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!” The problem with the Gossip Girl reboot reminds me of an old Bible Passage where an elderly. poor lady gave Jesus her only penny to get into Heaven, while the rich guy, whom also wanted to get in, asked what he needed to give and Jesus said everything he owned. Needless to say, the rich guy walked away. Hence, if you are not willing to give up what you have or share with the poor beyond occasional, runway charity walks, then why are you so obsessed with me, Gossip Girl?

It is a sweet irony that the one thing that will rub viewers wrong about the Gossip Girl reboot is that it characters care and are not wicked enough. Why does that matter? Because of the two reasons I just proclaimed: A) if rich people care then I lose a little of my moral high-ground B) how much do they really care if their closet’s net worth could feed a nation and I don’t see them giving up that Gucci. The reboot disrupts the natural dynamic between rich and poor people: they judge us for how we look and we judge them for who they are. They would never want to be like us, and, secretly, we’d love to live like them. By stripping away the desire and judgement, in a way, Gossip Girl 2.0 removes the drama of its series, and makes you wonder, “What is there to Gossip about?”

Created by Joshua Safran, who was a writer on the original series, the show centers around JC (Jordan Alexander): a major influencer who curated her life like a walking Instagram page filled with her producer daddy’s celebrity friends. Her boyfriend, Obie (Eli Brown), protests the corruption of his parents’ corporation only to end up eating their food, splurging the money they earn, and dating a young woman whom is as vapid as he thinks they are. Meanwhile, JC’s newly discovered, half-sister feels like the closest we get to a Dan Humphrey. She is the “poorer, Buffalo” native with dough-eyes at the high-fashion and high-stakes of Upper East Side schooling. Out of everybody, she feels more grounded and relatable; I guess because she is poor. Finally, there is Max ((Thomas Doherty), Audrey (Emily Alyn Lind), and Aki (Evan Mock) whom are in a weird sexually tense, romantic triangle while being bored with their existence. Thus, again…. WHERE IS THE GOSSIP…. Because I see the hypocrisy.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I prefer my rich people uncaring and stupid… Gossip Girl 2.0 is not providing in these areas and I am kind of disappointed. We watch to see bad decisions, and, instead, we get a bunch of wealthy kids self-pitying themselves for being so rich and famous in a world that is not, but are still unwilling to walk away from the very fame and wealth that guilts them. Thus, like an IG post, Gossip Girl 2.0 is pretty…. I just really wanted it to get ugly.