Diandra Interviews Alex McArtor: Embracing The Sound In Silence
I was so impressed with how wise Alex is as a person. Like any wise person, she has a lot to learn, but the key to wisdom is realizing that. For me, wisdom is when knowledge meets love; both recognizing they are boundless in what they can offer each other. At 16, Alex has already had such a wealthy life: filled with tales of highs and lows. Yet, they led her to have something that not a lot of people have at any age: self- love. In our interview, she discusses how loving herself led to her loving songwriting.
Diandra: I’m going to jump right in and say it. You are 16, but so are so many other artists like Billie Eilish or Finn Wolfhard are 16 and some of the best out there. Why do you feel people underestimate youth and their wisdom?
Alex: A lot of people have a lot to say; no matter how old you are. What matters is what comes from the heart. I know it would be cool to say, “F**k Adults,” but I don’t think anyone is against the youth. We are coming up in a different time, and we have different ideas. A lot of it is “You are so young, you haven’t felt this! This is fake!” But I do! I wrote a lot of these songs when I was 13.
Diandra: Your songs can focus on anxiety. How do you feel being a creator of music heals you?
Alex: I am one of those people that I want to help everyone that is around me. I am one of those that worry about other people over myself, and it gets me into trouble because I bottle things up. I think music has healed. I don’t know what I am going to write about when I go to write; words just spill out of me. With that, there is a sense of release and relief: a weight off my chest. A few months later, I realize I was writing about “this.” It is like my soul and my heart are telling me what I am feeling. It is not my mind that writes. It is my inner self.
Diandra: Name a moment or even song of your that made a situation in your life feel emotionally clearer to you?
Alex: You know there was. I have to say “Party’s Over.” I started writing that when I was moving from Austin to Dallas. I was in summer school, and I felt all the pain and worry was released into that song. It had a closure for me. I got everything out. With the time of moving, there was a lot of love, hurt, and back-stabbing that went on. During that time, I loved Austin, and it was like my first heartbreak. It was like break-up with a city and who I was there. Like I said, I put a lot of people before me, and, at that time, I put a lot of love into people and not myself. The song was a coming to love story and moving one. I feel at peace with the situation and with that song.
Diandra: What has this move taught you about change and how you adapt to it?
Alex: I did struggle a lot with eating disorders, and it affects women and men. I was that kid that got sent to the principal’s office because they got caught “doing something” I was THAT kid. I didn’t realize I was, mentally, at rock-bottom. I think moving shook me up and put me under water. I isolated myself for a year, and I asked myself “Who Am I?” Of course, I don’t know “who I am” but I have self-love, and it so powerful to me. I went up to boarding school in New Hampshire. Gosh! 15 was a hard year! I moved to the 90210 of Dallas and I rebelled. I was not going to conform, and that is when my journey took off and I loved it. I didn’t want to do “that” so I was like “F**K That!”
No one sits in silence. Everyone is afraid of silence, but it is a beautiful thing. So many people have so many distractions in their life that they become afraid with being with themselves, but I became conformable with myself. I don’t mind being alone or in silence. I am my own bed friend, and I will always have me in my life so it’s good that I am comfortable with myself because, if not, I will walking on eggshells.
Diandra: Was there something you learned about yourself in that silence?
Alex: I think… that I will be okay. Everything is going to be okay. I’m good. Life is good. It was a “I’m going to be good” feeling. Somebody loves me out there. I have two feet. The Lord loves me. I love myself. I have a body. You know. It was a grateful thing, but I meant it. A lot of people are saying, “I have so much hurt and pain.” Like, you walk pass somebody in class and they say, “I am so tired,” and you say, “Yeah, me too!” Yet, you are not tired. I think it is too easy to sit in pain but you have to step out of it. I think it is important that we talk about our pains but there is beauty in the pain. There has to be something good because if you are feeling bad, it is because you know there is something good out there.
Diandra: You use film to inspire lyrics. What are a few films, especially recent ones, that you want to write a song to?
Alex: I love music and writing, but film is my passion. I have to make a movie before I die. In terms of films for songs: Elizabethtown, Almost Famous, Garden State, The Velvet Goldmine, Lady Bird, My Private Idaho, 20th Century Women, and James Bond. I love James Bond. I love spy-thrillers.
Diandra: You have said when this doesn’t feel authentic anymore that you will be out. What makes music feel genuine to you?
Alex: Think about it like painting a picture. If I have someone in front of me and I am telling them what to paint. I say, “Paint my depression! Paint this for me! Paint that for me!” It is not their painting. I write my songs, and I don’t think there is any worth to a song if it does not come from you. Singing is a way of delivering a message you wrote for yourself.
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