Diandra Interviews Carmen Deleon: Let’s Have Fun!

Does music take itself too seriously? Do we? Fun is one of those words that I toss up with other terms like, luck and peace; things that everybody says they want but kind of reject. Who has not denied joy’s entrance, in their heart, because it didn’t look “cool” or come in the form and requirement we commanded it to? What makes Carmen Deleon so vivacious is that she is FUN, and she can’t stop being it. For the Venezuelan songstress, even as her songs approach the sadness of break-ups or the harshness of bullying, they make you want to groove to the dance-floor: as if you never felt bad for either. In our interview, we discuss how her very personality got her bullied in school but also landed her in Spain’s The Voice and with Tainy as her producer.

Diandra: Volveras is so good. When I first heard it I was like, “I have to interview her!” With your claimed aim to make a “fun” album, how do you feel you are fun and how do you put that into music?

Carmen: I’ve always been very hyper-active. I’m trying to keep calm right now because I talk way too much and my mind is always dreaming of something. I’m always happy but I want to be honest with you. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and, though I’m generally happy, like 98% of the time, I do have my anxieties and panic attacks.

I’m not always super okay and I do have my problems. I’m not perfect. I have imperfections, and I am super lucky to have parents that support me. I just grew up being happy and hyper-active, and I wanted to transfer that into my music. I am a very positive, optimistic person, and I try to transmit that energy through social media and music to give it to the people that need it.
Carmen DeLeon – Volverás (Official Video)

Diandra: So is music your way of getting back to or keeping your natural joy?

Carmen: Yes! Definitely! When I am feeling down, I always put my headphones on and put happy music on. It makes me want to feel better and feel optimistic. You have to have battles in life. It is was makes life interesting. Like, for me, talking about my anxiety, I know my symptoms so well. I already know when a panic attack is coming. I went through a huge battle, 3 years ago, where I almost died, but I wanted to live. I had to learn about my body so well. Life without challenges is not life but music and getting creative gets you by.

Diandra: You seem to wear your heart on your sleeve, how do you handle then working in an industry that runs on fantasy?

Carmen: I definitely have my therapist who makes me unafraid to say I have anxiety, and I am super open about it. Social media is always super perfect and fantasy, and what you see on social media is not always true. So I don’t always do social media because I don’t want to transmit that sadness.
Artists try to project this perfect life, but I am not perfect. I am not always okay. I suffer and I am human, and that is okay. So when all this started, it blocked me creatively. I just couldn’t make a song. My brain doesn’t keep information inside, it just let’s it out. Everyone is like “NO CAFFEINE FOR HER!” (she laughs)
My brain always overthinks and I dream so much, and all my dreams go into my songs and videos as if I’m making them come true. The other day, I dreamed of the outfits for my video, and I had to look them up the next day.

Carmen DeLeon – Graveyard (Halsey Cover)

Diandra: I love dreaming. I swear they mean something. Is there a dream, symbolically, that you would put into a song?

Carmen: I dreamed about me walking in New York City, and I was leaving the world behind me. It was like the Apocalypse behind me, and I am walking away, and the song is like me super happy and sarcastic. It’s like how I have this pocket full of sunshine but everything is burning behind me. I love it. I already see the video. I write my dreams, and I feel you should write when you are inspired. The songs that are coming up are going to be very passionate.

Diandra: Any title for the upcoming album?

Carmen: I really just want to call it my name.

Diandra: You mentioned 3 years ago, and I know you were bullied back then? What happened?

Carmen: I lived in Spain, and I did The Voice, and I was really bullied in my high-school for being Latina. Over there, it is like being indigenous. They treated me so badly and made fun of me everyday. To Spanish people, in Spain, they think we are dirty, poor, and “don’t talk right.” Every time I would walk down the hall, people would push me, a guy hit me in the face, and people would say, “Get back to your country! You’re disgusting!” And they would make those “Indian” noises where they put their hand over and away from their mouth.
Carmen DeLeon – El Mismo Aire (Camilo Cover)

Diandra: Wow!

Carmen: And this kid started talking about my family and I grabbed him and I was like, “If you talk about my family! I swear to GOD!” Then, I got The Voice, and he and everybody was like, “Okay! Now I want to be your friend! You’re great!” Now, they are texting me, and I am like “Get out of here with that fakeness!” I don’t even respond.

Diandra: You got a hit record with Tainy now so….. “ha ha” to them!

Carmen: These people made me suffer for so many years! I am like get out of my life.

Diandra: You need to write a song about fake friends now.

Carmen: Well, I have a session today. So that is definitely happening.

Diandra: As inspired by our conversation! I’m inspiring music now! (we laugh) But I imagine Tainy loved you because you have such a vibrant personality!

Carmen: It was so funny. We had a writing camp, and I was going to meet him, and I told myself, “Don’t hug him! Don’t kiss him! Shut the hell up!” And, of course, none of that happened, I ran to him and hugged him, and I was like, “Oh My God! Tainy!” So when I wrote Volveras, at the camp, I was in the studio and it was really positive. It was about loving yourself, and how, if you don’t, no one else is going to love you. I was like, “This is such a good song! I have to tell Tainy!” So I see him, and he is with his headphones, producing, and he couldn’t hear me because I was like, “TAINY! TAINY!” I was like he has to hear this song, it is so good!

I, literally, grabbed his headphones and pulled them off and I was like, in my head, “OH MY GOD! You f**ked up!” And he was like, “Are you okay? Is something wrong?” and I was like, “You have to hear my song! It is so good!” And he stood up and went to hear it, and he is a really introverted person, and he was bobbing his head so I was like, “I knew this was good!” And then he produced it perfectly! He was like, “You’re right this is really good, and don’t ever pull my headphones off my head!”
Carmen DeLeon – Cover CRAZY IN LOVE + Entrevista

Diandra: The level of bold you are, I am like, “JESUS PROTECT HER!” I had read that Volveras is really a friendship break-up song. Do you find breaking up with friends harder?

Carmen: It can be! Absolutely! I wrote the song about a friendship, but the label changed the video to be about a boy so it was more commercial. F**K THAT! (she laughs) It is about a break-up I had with one of my best friends, and you feel it way more. A friend is supposed to be there for you, and you can tell her everything. That was what I had with my best friend. She was always there for me, and she was there when I was hospitalized. But when I moved, she changed a lot and did me a lot of harm. She got a boyfriend, and became all about him, and when I flew to visit her in Barcelona, she abandoned me. She called me after they broke up, but
it had already hurt me so bad.

I don’t have a lot of friends, but some are my keepers and she was one of them. Now, I have more guy friends because they are just your friend. They are so loyal. We tell each other everything. That is what you need in life. Girls can be very competitive with each other and very jealous, and we have to stop. We are all the same. We all have vaginas and hormones and periods.

Diandra: Hopefully, with more equality, women will build more sisterhood: not be so pitted against each other. With that in mind, what is your favorite memory of your mom and you bonding over music?

Carmen: My mother is a dancer. She can move her hips like freaking Shakira. She put me in every dance class possible: tap, ballet, Hip Hop, jazz. I’m not a dancer, and she was like, “Okay! Fine!” Yet, she’s such an inspiration for me to dance. She is super important to me, in terms of performance, and telling me, “Do this! Try This!’ She is super into how I move on stage, and I wouldn’t be the woman I am in life without her.

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