Diandra Interviews ESS SEE: The Power of A Woman In Music
People say the music industry is hard, which it is. Yet, truthfully, it is industry, itself, that is difficult, especially for people with a lot of heart and a strong mind. Still, you need maneuver through business to get your art to more people, but how you carry yourself determines your power. For ESS SEE, playing Bowery Electric on August 27, art is not simply about being powerful as much as what is its power. In essence, what is the point of being able to fly if you there is no sky or being able to heal if there are never wounds. What is you power might be a more important question than if you are powerful. In our interview we discuss empowerment, power, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Diandra: What do you believe is the “Power of A Woman,” and what is your power as a woman?
ESS SEE: The power of a woman is vast. It’s resilience, endurance, and grace in the face of adversity. It’s tenderness and compassion towards others. It’s in the beauty of every curve and angle of the body. It’s in the womb. It’s in the mind, heart, voice and hands; evident in the work we produce. It’s the ability to constantly pivot and redefine femininity, all the while supporting and uplifting each other in the process.
My personal power as a woman is most currently tied to my music. It’s the platform for me to say anything I need to say, unfiltered. I am able to explore my relationships, my sexuality, my being, my frustrations with the world etc. I find a lot of power in the day to day as an independent artist. I still hustle at my day job to pay the bills. I use my nights and weekends to write and perform. I surround myself with both men and women who challenge and support me. I find a lot of joy in my independence.
I think empowerment is contagious. It’s not something we necessarily find on our own. I had great female role models: a Grandmother who joined the Navy in WWII and then worked full time as a nurse while raising 3 children with my Grandfather; and a Mother who formed her own successful small business while raising two children and helping my Father build our family home from the ground up. I was lucky to see firsthand what women can accomplish, (and how much we can juggle at once!). Now I’m emboldened to embrace my power, and carve my own path.
ESS SEE “Slip Slide” Official Music Video
Diandra: Your music speaks to embracing your mind’s intelligence, your soul’s creativity, and your your body’s sexual desires. How have your seen you journey as an artist help you commit to this embrace?
ESS SEE: I feel pretty comfortable with myself these days. I was restless for so many years, avoiding becoming the person and artist I really wanted to be. Once I finally admitted to myself that what I was doing wouldn’t be sustainable for me over the course of a lifetime, I got to work. I found that writing keeps me inside my thoughts and emotions when it could be easier to numb or ignore them. I’m usually alone when I write, so it’s not super difficult to be honest, dark, an sensual with myself. The hard part was exposing that publicly.
Once I started performing, I realized it’s not so scary to be exposed after all – and actually it’s kind of beautiful because it allows me to connect with people who feel the same things. (DUH–that’s what music always did for me as a listener — why did it take me so long to figure out as an artist?!). Experiencing this growth as an artist has emboldened me and allowed me embrace more freedom and curiosity with less pressure or fear — in all aspects of life. I’m more concerned with doing, creating, and experiencing more things – rather than making sure everything is perfect before I make moves.
ESS SEE “Fast Cheap Easy” OFFICIAL VIDEO
Diandra: You sing to accepting your failures and being self-aware, “Slip Slide.” What are failures and flaws, about yourself, that music has helped you heal and turn into a positive?
ESS SEE: ”Slip Slide” came at a time when I was transitioning out of my full time career, in advertising, to focus on music. While I was grateful for my career, I was carrying around a lot of regret and frustration that I hadn’t given my music any real focus. I felt like it was probably too late to try. I felt silly and indulgent for entertaining the idea of leaving a stable job. It seemed like I was floating around in someone else’s life day in and day out. Then, at night I would go home, write songs, and become this whole other person – the person I wanted to be. I was making moves and beginning to live the life I wanted, but I was terrified that as soon as something didn’t go as planned or if I failed miserably, that I would give up and revert back to my place of comfort and complacency.
There are a few songs on the album that address this fear – “Survive” “Slip Slide” and “Dance in the Dark” – they all capture how I was feeling at different points of this huge life change. “Survive” was written the day I knew things weren’t working for me, and I needed to shift if I wanted to grow. “Slip Slide” is my pep talk to not slide back into old habits – to keep going down this path even when there may be an easier, more comfortable, way. “Dance in the Dark” is where I’m at now — old days are behind me, I don’t know what’s coming, but I’m so stoked to be here and plan on making the most of it while I’m here.
Cellar Sessions: Ess See – Different Breed July 14th, 2019 City Winery New York
Diandra: It is not easy to be confident and feel empowered, even if you sing to doing so. What have been your highs and lows in as a music professional building your career, and how do you feel they mold you as a person?
ESS SEE: You’re right. It’s not easy. Especially in music. As an independent artist, the music industry can feel like a constant grind. It requires a lot more hustle and commitment than just making great music. Most of my lows come from feeling like I’m not doing enough, or not making enough progress compared to whatever I have defined in my mind as “success” at the time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed or burnt out.
But then there are the highs: writing a new song and hearing it come to life for the first time. Sitting in the studio finding the perfect synth sound after digging around for hours. Perhaps the most magical – being on stage and hearing an audience sing with me – realizing how much bigger it all is – the songs aren’t mine anymore. They belong to the people using them as a soundtrack to their lives. I’ve rarely felt as connected to others as I do in these moments – it’s humbling and proof to me how similar we all really are.
My experience with music has molded me into a more resilient and less risk averse person. I’m less easily discouraged. It’s helped me to make decisions based on how I might feel about them looking back on my life – rather than trying to meticulously craft a specific future. I trust myself more, but also feel more open and malleable than ever.
Cellar Sessions: Ess See – Power Of A Woman July 14th, 2019 City Winery New York
Diandra: Vulnerability and authority are two terms used to describe your style. How would you define these two forces in your life?
ESS SEE: I’m pretty sure the two are inherently tied. I don’t think you can fully experience life if you let fear or pain guide you. For me, embracing vulnerability, choosing to be open and honest despite the outcome, leads to more truth and authority. It’s a cycle: I bare my soul, learn from it, and then make confident authoritative decisions based off my experience. Repeat.
Diandra: Describe the moment you fell in love with music, and knew it had a special connection to you.
ESS SEE: I’m not sure there was a distinct moment as much as a culmination of tiny moments. I can remember as a small child playing a game in the car with my grandmother where I would name the song and artist on the radio within a matter of seconds (a skill that has since dulled dramatically). Granny also appreciated my solo rendition of the Jeopardy theme song. My parents would let me choose albums from their extensive collection and let me listen through oversized 1980’s noise cancelling headphones in the living room while they watched TV or made dinner. I sang a LOT. My teen years were spent shut in my bedroom consuming everything I could get my hands on and drawing pictures of Thom Yorke in my sketchbook. In my late teens, I started writing songs on my guitar, and that was probably the beginning of where I am today.
Outside of family, music has been the one constant in my life. It helps me express myself, form new friendships, and made me not feel so alone in the world. I am definitely deeply connected to it, but aren’t we all?
Diandra: Having begun your career in 2009, what are the greatest lessons you have learned in the past decade?
ESS SEE: I cobbled together my first “studio” in the corner of my 8×8 Brooklyn bedroom in 2009 after having written and sang on a couple of other artists’ projects. I was inspired to create for myself, but had no idea what I was doing. I figured it was only in the doing that I would ever get any better.
Since then I’ve learned lots. There was a huge learning curve to combat when it came to producing for myself (I’m still working on it). I had to learn to not beat myself up for not being an expert and also find supportive people who met me where I was at and helped me move forward without judgement. In the same vain, I had to learn how to be open with other artists and trust them with my work (which ultimately made it so much better). I’ve had to adjust how I spend my time – so much of success in music is discipline based, and in a city like, New York, where there’s always something fun to do, it can be tough to carve out time to be alone and create. It took me years to build the confidence to release any music. Part of me regrets this, but only now that I know what’s on the other side. I’m much more comfortable with being a work in progress these days as opposed to thinking I needed to be a polished product.
Diandra: With your new album called, “Waiting For The Sky To Fall,” coming out August 23, what was the inspiration behind the record’s title? What are the core messages?
ESS SEE: The album was finished at the same time I was ending my most significant romantic relationship to date. The title track, “Waiting For The Sky To Fall” is primarily about the relationship, what it felt like to put everything on the line, and then wait around to see what happened. When I was naming the album, I realized that so much of it drew on this same theme. Being brave enough to step out of comfort — even if that means you risk losing (or gaining) everything — in relationships, career, self. The album is about the tension of these moments, and the times of waiting and looking towards the future that follows. It’s about expectations and how monumental things can feel at times, and how we deal with the aftermath of change. There’s no distinct resolution, good or bad in the album–just an acknowledgement that life goes on and rarely looks like what we pictured–but we get to decide how to move forward, and that’s pretty cool.
Diandra Singing to loving yourself despite those that do not or do, what are your likes and dislikes in relationships?
ESS SEE: Is this the part where we find my husband?! 😉
Life is hard enough, so I generally surround myself with people who can laugh at the absurdity of it all. I like and admire people who are proactive and driven because I want to be challenged and inspired by them. I like it when a friend or significant other can celebrate well – sharing in each other’s big and little achievements is important to me. I like being valued as an intellectual and emotional equal. I like people who are curious and open to exploring. I like someone who can admit when they’re wrong and will help me see when I am. I value self confidence, hard work, kindness, and compassion. And people who are sweet to animals. I like to dance.
I highly dislike when people turn life into a competition. I don’t like being told by men that I am “intimidating.” I dislike hot tempers. I get frustrated when supported, equipped, and able people won’t believe in themselves. I’m not a huge fan of machismo or gossip. Please don’t be rude.
I could not agree more. Clear, focused, and fierce, I AM 100% Team ESS See. For More Information On ESS SEE Click Here.
Great interview! Love ESS SEE!