Diandra Interviews Hoonine: Starting Over Alone

There are two recurrences that I see all the time with artists. The first is when it comes to a band, each member was probably apart of a bunch of different groups. This brings me to my second recurrence: the solo bit. Whether it is the lead singer or the drummer, at least, a few members will go off to see what is life with just them at the helm of their sound. In essence, self-discovery will, eventually, stir in members a desire to see if the grass is greener when they perform by themselves. That is the case for Hoonine, whom is using her solo venture from her band AA Mamá, to discover who she is as a person as much as who she is as an artist.

Diandra: How do you create, and what are you creating now?

Hoonine: I never stop writing. I really don’t have an “off” button. While there is nothing wrong with stopping, especially if your body asks you to, I have always been unable to just be still. I always have to be moving or doing something, which is why I am always creating. Right now, I am having a hard time writing in third or first person because we are not out and about as much. We are not seeing people, and I write about what I experience in relationships. So I can definitely say, even though I have been lucky and my family is safe and healthy, the music I am making now sounds quieter and lonelier. You can hear the pandemic’s influence because I am writing songs about our new ways of connecting and how they feel colder and feel distant.

Diandra: What have these songs helped you see about relationships?

Hoonine: I think that they help me see everything, especially me, because I am way clearer and more direct with a person in song than in speaking. (she laughs) I feel like I can explain myself better through music, and, in that, you naturally become more reflective and you just see situations better.

Diandra: Is there a specific strength or vulnerability, about relationships, you learned through your music?

Hoonine: My song “Charco” is about being vulnerable in a relationship that you don’t really know how it is going or where it is going. It is about being really in love with someone and so open to them, but they might be ready to leave you. So it is about asking for relief amidst the instability. In that, I think there is strength. I think it takes a lot of courage to ask a partner in a relationship where they stand with you. It is about being bold and saying to them, “What do you see for or in us?” The song gave me the courage to even do that for myself.

.HOONINE – Charco (Lyric video)

Diandra: Yeah, I don’t see that enough in relationships, and I am including myself. I just don’t know too many women, or people in general, that say, “Hey! What are we doing here?”

Hoonine: (laughs) Yeah! We don’t really sit our partner down to not only ask what they feel, but also say what we need. “This is what I want from you! This is what I need from you!” So I feel it goes both ways, it is not just about figuring out what your partner feels as much as you telling him or her what you want to feel about them. The song “Charco” is really about fear and trying to confront it without feeling like you’ll lose more.

Diandra: So did the song or even your songs, in general, make you feel clearer?

Hoonine: I don’t feel the music makes you clearer, necessarily, as much as it makes you feel relieved. It is like venting and just taking out all that is inside of you: all the torment. So it really is about letting out all that you want to say, but it doesn’t make me end the situation I’m in. Like, I wrote “Charco” and still stayed with the guy. So it was really about saying to myself what I wanted, and being able to hear, in music, what I was feeling. It’s about liberation. For me, clarity is when the situation is over or it comes when the relationship is done

Diandra: Is there a fear music has helped you conquer? I imagine, now that I ask, it was that: saying what you feel.

Hoonine: I think among other things. For me, I think music helped me conquer the “false imposter” syndrome. It helped me do things for me without thinking about others and whether they would like it because, as an artist, I can wonder, sometimes, whether I really am THAT good or good enough. There is just this feeling that you are never measuring up, and it could get dark. My songs are my comments on my “day to day,” and I can be very harsh on myself. So they help me see how I am not that bad and try to be nice to myself.

I think all artists can be insecure, and music helps us live with it but it can also further it. Being an artist can be brutal in terms of how much you are asked to always look at yourself and see what is happening within you. It is a lot on a person because you don’t always want to look. You always put yourself into something, and it surprises you to see what was inside you and how you placed into the song.

Diandra: That is interesting because usually the complaint is not the amount of reflection people have as much as the validation they constantly seek or need.

Hoonine: I think its both or that they are not much different from each other. You get so vulnerable that its hard not to look around and want someone to say, “You are doing good. That is not bad! You are not crazy.” So when you have a song that works, it feels so good, but then comes the next song, and you are back to trying to figure out what is good about you, again. You want to have a core sound that people connect with and feel sensitive to, which puts you in an endless cycle of seeking validation. We all need validation. It’s human nature.
C. Tangana – Nunca estoy (cover)

Diandra: I imagine those feelings are heightened now that you are a solo artist.

Hoonine: Yeah……yes! I think being on my own has made me more sensitive. It pushes me to put myself in the music 100%. It is 100% an exercise in sensitivity, especially the sensitivity one carries towards themselves. I have to be myself to do music and, in return, music shows me who I am for better or worse. Also, Hoonine is an electronica, Trap sound, which I didn’t do before. It is squarer in theory and makes me feel more extended. It was easier though with other people (she laughs)

Diandra: Why Hoonine though?

Hoonine: I am the worst at names. I wanted to make a name that meant absolutely nothing so that I could give it meaning. I wanted it to have no style or word associations so that I could just fill it up with everything I wanted. So I started playing with letters and combining them until I got Hoonine, and I thought, “Well, this sounds weird and good.” (she laughs)

Diandra: What does Hoonine represent for you?

Hoonine: I think Hoonine represents my fragility. I think she represents what it is to feel like you are about to crumble but still have this strength in you to carry yourself. Hoonine is the force from which I carry myself. It has been a great experience, but it can be hard because, when you are with a group of people, you go through the highs and lows with them, which can be nice.

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