Diandra Interviews Not Fay: Finding The Original You

It is SO HARD to sound unique. Recently, when talking to Mi’Chel Rose, she said something that is so true, “You have to be new while paying homage to those that came before you.” For me, it is when you look at your roots that you oddly innovate, and Not Fay is a rooted woman. From her familial origins to her style ones, she marks down the steps to how she has become her as a one does their common path: looking at signs and memorizing passed houses to know where they’ve been to get to where they are going. In our interview, we discuss how a look back gets you forward, and how being a “global citizen” turns you into a music one.

Diandra: You have said it is very hard for you to find your sound. What is the difficulty?

Not Fay: I guess for me, in general, because I listen to so many genres and I really want to express myself emotionally, it is hard to pinpoint, always, a sound. I have built my sound. I have found it, but I do go to the studio and swear I am going to make a sad song and then, suddenly, I am making a pop track and think, “I can’t release that. That’s not me or, at least, what the people want from me.” So I feel like you have to have a core. Of course, I can do others genres, but I always am going to have the same melodies and tones just so that people can know, “This is Not Fay.” I want them to find a home in my sound, and my home always goes back to R&B.
not.fay – lovergirl

Diandra: I totally feel that, and listening to “sadgirlhours” I felt like I could feel the R&B moodiness.

Not Fay: 100% It’s funny you mention “moodiness” because. the night I wrote sadgirlhours, I was so moody. I was very like “I miss you and I am also a total badass.” It is kind of like when you miss an ex because you are bored, so you text him, and the next day you are like, “Why did I do that? I am better off without him!” I think there is always a sense of duality to us, and music explores that grey area. Maybe, through my voice and its tone, you will get the feeling that I am feeling and the grey becomes clearer.

Diandra: Well, music is made to explore the grey of love.

Not Fay: 100% I am personally someone who does not like to dwell on things. I am not going to dwell on a bad break-up, and I go to the studio and swear that I am not going to write a love song. Yet, as soon as I hear that beat, music brings out those emotions and the truth comes out.
not.fay – sadgirlhours? (prod. ricci)

Diandra: Everyone writes love songs, how do you feel you add to the discussions om love?

Not Fay: That is a difficult one! That is a really hard thing to do in my opinion, and I think, as artists, we all do struggle with this. The same topics come out, and you do feel like you are repeating yourself. These are about the same people, and, I guess, you try to come out with different melodies and beats. I think the secret to being different is how you make the audience feel like they can move forward from that feeling: not just relate to it.

Diandra: Heartbreak does have a way of helping us make a good song. The struggle is saying something new. Have you discovered something new, through, music in terms of how you fall in love?

Not Fay: That is a tough one. I guess I have discovered that I suffer from denial. I am always, “Let’s be positive!” But when I am writing, the harder, negative feelings come out, and I start to realize I was more hurt than I thought. I don’t think I’m hiding my negative feelings from myself, but I think you survive by being positive and trying to feel good.
not.fay – Cabernet (Music Video)

Diandra: That makes sense. Let the song take the negativity, so your life can take the positivity.

Not Fay: Exactly! I feel like when I write these songs I am putting my heartbreak in a box, throwing it into the ocean, and never talking about it again.

Diandra: If Not Fay had her own sitcom, what would be its premise?

Not Fay: What is her tv show? Such an interesting question… I have never thought of this stuff before. It’s funny because when I first started making music, I didn’t tell anybody. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid to put myself out there and telling my friends and family. So it was an obvious decision to make music under another name, and I started with Fay. I just really didn’t want people to know who I was, but I got a few wins, got some confidence, and told them. By then, I was writing for other artists and doing vocals on producer’s tracks. Yet, when it was time for me to put myself out there, I still wasn’t comfortable going as me. I don’t like to talk about big topics. I am pretty chill and like my privacy. So I liked the idea of it was me and “not me.” Does that answer your question?

Diandra: It is very Hannah Montana.

Not Fay: (she laughs) Fay and Not Fay are two very different people. If you see my instagram, I am all glammed up, but if you meet me I am always in my pajamas having a glass of wine.

Diandra: So do you feel Not Fay is the fantasy version of you or the authentic one?

Not Fay: I think they complete each other. Not Fay is the version of me that I always wanted to be: someone with no anxieties or fears. I just let myself be myself, but when I am Fay, I have all these blockages and I put walls around me. I over-think, and Not Fay allows me to be this fearless person that I am not all the time.
not.fay & Sækyi – BOUND 2

Diandra: You have such a global identity. Swiss Mom, Egyptian Dad, raised in Jordan, studied in the UK! Do you feel like music gave a you a settled place? In essence, it became your home as you traveled the world.

Not Fay: Definitely! I have never had someone put it that way to me, but it makes total sense because when I went to Egypt, I was never fully Egyptian and when I went to Switzerland, it was like I was not Swiss enough. When I lived in Jordan, I was Arabic but I was not Jordanian, and I had a sister in Dubai. Then, I left for the Uk. So it was always kind of a mess. We were never really together because we were always traveling.

Whenever people asked me my story or “Where am I from?” I would laugh and say, “Well…” Music really gave me a “home feeling. It really gave me an identity, and I am not just this let child that doesn’t know where home is. I carry my studio with me everywhere and it gives me a security. I have been traveling for the past year, looking for a place to settle down, and I was going to move to California but Covid hit.

Diandra: Being so influx, how do you ever know your song is perfect to you?

Not Fay: Something I have mastered this year is comfort in imperfection. Before, especially when I started out and when I look back at my old stuff, I can hear that it is imperfect. I was trying so hard, and it led me to not release music because I always felt like it was not ready. Yet, I’ve just become so comfortable in lack of structure. I am very chaotic in real life, and, when people listened to my music, I think they are looking for real truth and me doing whatever I want. I always start with a verse and hook and then see where it goes. That is my signature sound, and I mix myself.

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON NOT FAY CLICK HERE.