Exclusive Premiere: Ashlynn Malia Is Feeling “open”
I have always been an extroverted introvert. If you met me, you would not believe that I have a single ounce of social anxiety, even thought I can swim in it. I dance like no one is looking when I’m at the club, introduce myself and chat with every person at the party, and am 100% “that young person” old people come up to at supermarkets to help them read a food label only to reveal to me their grandkids don’t visit anymore. I mention this because Ashlynn Malia sings to those of us that want to connect with the world but can’t help feeling more disconnected when we do so. Hence, I was very happy to premiere her new song “open,” and hear how she face the battle of wanting to be alone while not wanting to be lonely.
Discussing the background of “open,” Ashlynn Malia says: Funny enough, I wrote this song when one of my friends took too long to text me back. I always say that songwriting is my time to be a drama queen, since I’m pretty chill and non-confrontational in real life. But I guess that night, that small thing just sent me spiraling, and every other insecurity I had about that relationship came to the surface and filled the temporary silence on the other line. “open” is a song ultimately about fear. Fear of opening up and letting somebody else into your world, and then fear of the consequences that could rise after: judgement, rejection, and abandonment. I’ve spent so long convincing myself that if I let someone get too close to me, the real me (not the me I think they want me to be), then they will lose interest, and it will hurt a lot more to let my truest self face that rejection instead of the metaphorical mask I wear.
Listening to “open” it totally pulls from the intimacy of being alone. The melody, along with Ashlynn’s airy vocals, turns her chords into tiny beds for you to float and lay upon. There is just something so restive about the song’s production, which makes sense considering it is about learning to like yourself enough to be with yourself. For us, loners our homes can feel like a paradise, of which our best companion is our own imagination and ability to make ourselves laugh. Of course, I sound crazy, but it seems like Ashlynn Malia made the same conclusion. As she states,” If making those connections means enduring all the overthinking, insecurity, growing pains, abandonment, rejection, questioning of my own self-worth and blurring of my mental vision – then I’d rather be alone, where I’m safe from that type of pain.” I have to agree. Relationship are great when you find a great person that matches you, of which those people will be rare. Of course, you should look to find them, but moments of solitude with yourself make the search better.
